Waking Up With Xigbar

Too-bright sunlight made Demyx wince as he opened his eyes. God, his head hurt. His.....oh boy, his butt hurt - and he seemed to be handcuffed behind his back - what the HELL was he doing last night? The sound of snoring made him look down from his position slumped against the wall, to see a familiar stripey ponytail. A somewhat nude (aside from an eyepatch and hairband) Xigbar seemed to find Demyx's thigh a to be a perfectly acceptable pillow. Oh, right. Yeah.

That was last night. The 'Xigparty'. For no reason whatsoever - Number II really was the impulsive sort - Xig had convinced Luxord to somehow (nobody asked how. It was probably best that way) aquire a casket of Port Royal's best rum, and in Xaldin's word, get everybody 'spectacularly wasted'. It was all a bit of a blur, but it involved lots of loud, blaring Hollow Bastion music and...who knows what else. He honestly couldn't remember for the life of him. Xig might be able to explain why Demyx was wearing a dress. A pink one. And what could very, very possibly be Larxene's bra. This was confusing on soooo many levels. And Xigbar had some explaining to do!

The Freeshooter took forever to wake up..he always did! Demyx had jogged him with his knees and his only answer was a snore. Still, after lots of kicking (the Nocturne wouldn't usually be so rough with his superior, but his hands were sort of not too useful right now!) Xigbar mumbled a vague "YeahyeahI'mawake..."
"You better be, Xiggy! Look at the place..." There were empty bottles of rum all over - everyone but Xemnas, Vexen and Lexaeus had been at the party, and everyone had a drink - even Demyx, and he was thinking he should be regretting that by now....And then there were the torn 'Xigparty' banners, party popper string all over the place. There was some in Number IX's hair. It was getting in his eyes....Trust everyone else to run off and leave the hard work to someNobody else...
"Oh god...oh HELL, dude..." Yep, Xigbar was waking up now. "Oh fricking hell! Mansex is gonna fricking KILL us...." Demyx sighed. Yup.
"Washing up duty...cleaning Dusk cages...something like that, for a week - Who's betting?" Xigbar gave a low groan - nobody wanted that sorta stuff, it was surely Lexaeus' job. But there were more pressing matters for Demyx right now, such as -
"Xiggy....as comfy as sitting here is...can you get these handcuffs off me?" It came out a little more whiney than he'd meant it to. "Please?" Xigbar chuckled.
"One sec, Dem..." The Freeshooter patted about on the floor, paused, and started searching the room. "Uh...I'm sure the key'll...show up..." Demyx yelped.
"YOU LOST THE KEY?"
"As if. I've simply misplaced it." Same difference!
"Don't think I'm gonna tell the Superior about this. You're Number II..." Xigbar cast a glare over his shoulder.
"Uh....NO." Demyx awkwardly stood up and manouvered himself into a chair. He'd better get comfy if he was going to be stuck in these handcuffs - Xigbar only had one eye to look with....this might take a while.

Eventually Xigbar found the handcuff key.
Demyx was persuaded out of calling in Saix to help, due to the likelyhood at his having a nervous breakdown (for a Nobody, the Diviner could sure get worked up...) at explaining to the Superior why 'I LOVE XEMNAS SO SO SO MUCH HE IS BEAUTIFUL <3' was written on the wall in permanent marker.
Xigbar insisted that Demyx should get out of that dress....Demyx should have known that a request like that could never be innocent. Not coming from Number II's mouth.

And Demyx learned his lesson - That's what you get for waking up with Xigbar.